Matt’s Random Thoughts

Halloween is different now. I feel like the crazy uber religious people and lazy parents have taken all the fun out of it. Back home in Lancaster there was a ton of confusion over when kids would go trick or treating. It’s always like that when Halloween is on a Sunday. What difference does it make? I think my aunt summed it up best when she said “What, are they going to change Christmas if it’s on a Sunday?” Nope, I doubt it. So why try to put Halloween on a Saturday, the day before? Regardless, none of the parents were sure when to trick or treat, so my mom got kids both nights.

Here it Newport News they made it clear it was tonight. Of course, here in the thriving metropolis of the ghetto fabulous FeatherStone South Apartments, we only got about 12-15 trick or treaters. And of those, only about 4 were actually dressed up. HELLO! The whole friggin’ purpose of Halloween is to dress up to get candy!!! However, it’s probably the lazy ass parents fault because they probably didn’t feel like going to get their kids a costume. I’m sure the 4 year olds really didn’t know any better.

I remember when I was a kid, everyone got dressed up. We were allowed to wear our costumes to school, and they even had contests to see whose was the scariest, funnest, etc. I won in the 7th grade because I dressed up as Lorena Bobbit. Granted I didn’t have the fake penis in the jar until I got home. I’d LOVE to see a kid dressed as a executed Scott Peterson or something… but no. We get fairies and power puff girls. Puh-leeze people. It’s Halloween. It’s supposed to be SCARY!!!

Going of on this, following the end of trick or treating tonight, Tara and I ventured to the fun land o’ Wal-Mart. They were actually having trick or treating in the store, which is nice because the kids can be safe. But as soon as we get into the store, who do we see? None other than Jesus Christ himself. Yep, some girl was dressed as Jesus, complete with the crown of thorns, stigmata, and blood stained cloak. (Granted Jesus wasn’t wearing a cloak at the time of crucifixion… learn the story before you preach, dumbass!) Anyway, she had religious messages written all over her cloak about how everyone needs Jesus and such. You know what little kid? I’m just fine without him, and have been for a long time. Besides, if you’re dressing up to protest Halloween, aren’t you basically being a hippocrit for actually dressing up for it? Yeah, you are, so shut up!

We finished our shopping at Walmart, but not before seeing more folks dressed up. There was an employee dressed up as a Lord of the Rings character, a she-devil, a bloody guy, and, to top it all off (though I don’t think it beats she-Jesus) we saw Abe Lincoln. Though to be quite honest, neither of us were sure if it was a costume or not. If it was, it was great. If not, the guy must’ve been Amish, which begs the question of why he was in walmart to begin with.

The night was fun, but it pissed me off a lot. I can’t believe people aren’t dressing up like they used to. Maybe it’s this area. When I used to tutor at Riverside, I did have a little boy tell me his parents wouldn’t let him do Halloween because it’s Satan’s birthday (WRONG!). Ignorant people piss me off. Let the kids have fun. Let them eat candy. That’s what Halloween and being a kid are all about!!!

Next Halloween I’m going to have a party, and I’m going to dress up as something cool. Just a note, Tara and I were going to be a pimp and hoe this year, with me being the hoe and Tara as the pimp. Maybe next year…

Yesterday I took my first Sub job in two months. It was at Tara’s school for the teacher she works with. It was only for a half day, so I figured it would be an easy start. Not true.

I have come to the conclusion that the majority of these 5th graders are completely helpless. During Science Tara was teaching and I passed out sheets of white paper for them to take notes on. Pretty much within seconds a good number of the kids had lost their sheet of paper… and I’m talking about an 8.5×11 sheet of copy paper.

They are not able to follow directions at all. Now I know why I wanted to teach high school. These kids (most of them) just need a swift kick in the ass from their parents. Oh well, at least I’ll get paid for the afternoon.

Going on what I see on tv, I don’t really like lawyers that much. Why am I writing about this? Hell if I know… I just saw a commercial on tv for this mesothelioma and asbestos lawyer that apparently wants to sue the entire world. How many people really have mesothelioma anyway? What IS mesothelioma? I have no idea, and having worked in an OB/GYN office, I’m pretty sure it isn’t anything you’d go see an OB/GYN for.

Anyway, my point is that lawyers are apparently ruthless and will do whatever it takes to win you money. I suppose that’s a good thing… but you know they’re only doing it because they want a part of your winnings. Supposedly this mesothelioma thing can win you big bucks, so I guess that’s why this James Sokolov guy is involved with it. But then there’s other stuff. Lately I’ve been seeing commercials for the “Motorcycle Lawyer.” Apparently he’s a rider, so he “knows how you feel” and can help you better. My personal favorite is “THE SPOUSE ELIMINATOR!” This guy specializes in quickie divorces… Of course his commercials make him sound like a hitman. And finally, there’s the 555-CASH lawyer, Lowell “The Hammer” Stanley. Too bad none of this quacks can appear in their own commercials. They have to hire pretty actors to do the job for them. Scum… SCUM I SAY!

I guess John Sadler, the Williamsburg Kiwanis President, is the exception. He’s a nice guy. If I ever get mesothelioma, screw the other guy. I’m going to John.

And this concludes my random rant on lawyers. Good day to you.

I had to take pictures of this so people would believe me, but first some back story. We had gotten numerous stains all over our carpet from various spills and such. They weren’t very attractive, so when my mom bought a new carpet shampooer, I ask to borrow it. I vacuumed the carpet, and shampooed it. The water it sucked back up was black, and it turns out our carpet is such poor quality (Let’s hear it for Featherstone!) that chunks of it started to break apart. I’d have to continually stop the machine and clean the fuzz from the carpet. Anyway, to spare more details, I did the carpet once.

Today I vacuumed again, shampooed, and then decide to vacuum and shampoo again because the water was still black. These pictures are the result of my third time shampooing the carpet. Mind you this is after vacuuming as well. You can click to enlarge the pictures.

This is just gross. I definately hope my next home has better quality carpet!

Prior to going outside tonight to see the eclipse, Tara was reading some book by Judy Blume which she described as “smut.” I asked her if she was going to finish “Wicked” and she said she needed something dumb and easy to read for a break, and that’s why she was reading the “smut.” Long story short, she basically told me I couldn’t write a romance, so, accepting the challenge, I will attempt to write a novella romance tomorrow.

If Nora Roberts can crank out a book a month, surely I can do a few chapters of smutty filth in a day… Update to follow!

About 3 weeks ago I did a website for Tara’s Mom’s literarcy agent. Baker Literary Agency He asked me to send him a bill, which I did. Granted I had never made a bill before, so I tried to make it look official. I put a logo on there for “Webs by Matt” my “web design company”. I said to remit payment to “Matthew C. Brent” with my address. However, he wrote the check out to Webs by Matt, and included my address on the check. It was printed, so I ran it through my printer and added my last name to it.

I go to deposit it into my account, and they’re telling me it won’t deposit because it’s not written to me. Actually, they didn’t say that at all. I pulled it up on my online account information. They never called me or anything. With Suntrust you can click each transaction and send an inquiry request and message about it. So I did. I asked why it wouldn’t deposit because it had my name and address on it. The response was very vague, and the only thing I got out of it was that my “branch” would send me something in the mail. I just want my damn money!! Arghhhh!

Let’s see how long it takes them to send me something… I hope I get something tomorrow. I BETTER get something tomorrow.

So I happened to pull up CNU Live and look at the class schedules. How do they manage to maintain a teacher education program when they don’t offer the proper classes? Originally they weren’t offering a grad level history class either, but I see they’ve added one… something about China or Asia. (ZZZZzzzzz)

I’m starting to think I was blessed to get out of there when I did. Yeah, it’s going to be a gorgeous campus, but what the hell are the students going to do once they get there? There are barely any courses. They offer a bazillian freshman level classes, and barely any upper level classes. WHY? Probably because the freshmen all transfer after the first or second year. That’s crappy retention people. I remember reading something in US News or so that only 8% of CNU freshmen graduate at CNU after 4 years. That’s rather pathetic in my opinion.

Well, if I go to ODU, perhaps it’ll be better.

Premiere Physician Care. My attempt at research on this place yielded zero results. That meant one of two possibilities. A) It was a little sketchy or B) it was a new place. Luckily for me it was choice B.

I arrive early, as there was no traffic on 64, and the interview commenced. I met with one of the physicians and a woman who I assume to be the office manager. As we progress through the interview, I learn a bit about this place. It’s like no doctor’s office I’ve ever heard of before. You have to pay a membership fee to see them. (Just so you know, the membership fee, as I discovered afterwards, is $1800!). They seemed impressed with my qualifications and experience. Though, when they asked me about salary, I think I may have slipped. I asked for a minimum of $24,000, which is about $4,000 more than they start at back home. Little did I know this place would bring in about 1.5 mill in membership fees alone! If they offer it to me, I hope they offer a little more, or I may try to negotiate a bit. Of course, I’ll have to see if they call me back. They have my references. THINK POSITIVE PEOPLE!

Tonight at 9:06PM while sitting on the couch watching Family Guy on TBS, Tara successfully used the word “queef” in a sentence.

That is all.

I’m not in grad school yet, but I had an idea for what I wanted to do my thesis on. (No, I’m not touching the stupid nazis with a ten foot pole!) Since I’ve been doing Kiwanis stuff for the past 8 years, I figured I research civic organizations and their effect on the community, and the community’s effect on them. Sounded like a good idea…

Then I come across this… I haven’t read it yet, so it could be totally different than what I had planned to do. Of course, it could also serve as a research source and could turn out to be good. Either way, it appears the idea has been approached. I have to get into grad school first!!!