Matt’s Random Thoughts

Tara and I have been married for over a month now. So far we’re still running head to head with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, though I think we’ll ultimately win the race to stay married the longest. Granted it’s been a while since we got back from the honeymoon, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the Disney experience.

1) Freaky Camera People
Growing up in Lancaster, I wasn’t very aware of diversity. We had whites and blacks, and a handful of other groups of people. Despite this, I still heard all the various stereotypes about everybody, one of which was the stereotype of the japanese tourist with the camera. I know stereotypes are based on overgeneralizations, but I think this one may be slightly true. While in Disney, Tara and I sought characters to take pictures with. (Apparently so did everyone else!) We’d wait in line, and yes, some families would take a few pictures (one with just the kids, one with the whole family…) but it seemed like there were lots of Japanese tourists with cameras taking various pictures. We were in line directly behind one couple who literally took 15 shots with Christmas Mickey & Minnie. UNnessecary! It seemed like this happened with every character we found.

2) Freaky Camera People #2
Apparently in Disney it is perfectly acceptable to take pictures of the characters with other kids. Once again we’d be in line and little Suzie would be taking her picture with Pooh or Mickey or whoever, and random strangers would also be taking pictures of her. This also happened with every character we saw, and this was not, by the way, limited to Japanese people. So many people did this, I was quite freaked out. I wouldn’t want random strangers taking pictures of my kids, so why would I take pictures of someone else’s kids. Perhaps they’ll photoshop the kid out when they get home.

3) Revolutionary War Re-enactments?
Were we to continue fighting the Revolutionary War today in Disney, we’d lose. America would not exist. Why, you ask? Simple. The British had far greater numbers in Disney than we did. Seriously, folks! Many times I read about people complaining about foreigners who don’t speak English coming into the U.S. Not this time. Everwhere we turned there was someone with a British accent. I think the British not only outnumbered Americans, they outnumbered everyone else as well. There would have been some hope, though. We did run into quite a number of French folks. I’m sure they would’ve helped us again… well, maybe not.

4) Lines exist
Since the dawn of creation, lines have existed. Granted they may not have formed for the one celled organisms to get onto Space Mountain, but I’m sure they existed. You can’t get around this fact. Lines exist! So why then do so many people seem oblivious to lines in Disney? There are lines for rides, pictures, shows, cash registers… you name it! Look around you people, there are lines, so wait in them! Don’t try to cut the line, stupid bastards!

5) Disney has great business strategy
We all know they target kids. Duh. But when Florida experiences record lows, and most visitors have only packed warm clothes, leave it to Disney to seize the opportunity for a buck. Most stores in the park wheeled out a cart of sweatshirts and warmer apparel for visitors to buy. We were suckered in. Well, I guess not suckered, because we did need something warm. Damn, we were suckered after all! Score another one for you, Walt!

6) Make reservations
Not only do lines exist, so do reservations. We made them… for some meals. For others we had to wait… in a line. On one occassion we were dining at the Rainforest cafe. We had a reservation. We were seated. We were greeted. All was well. Then suddenly this older couple walks right into the chaos of the restaurant and plops right down at the table beside us. No one seated them. No one greeted them. And yet they looked around wondering where their server was. They had bypassed the big pink elephant where you put in your name, and the massive line of people whose names had been called, but were waiting to be seating, and plopped themselves down. How oblivious. Wake up people. There are methods you must follow to live in the modern world. Pay attention. If the hostess and the line had been snakes, you would’ve been bit. Several times. And then the people you broke in front of would have been you some more.

For those who actively read my blog (all 2 of them) you may remember a post in which I mentioned dressing up as a pharaoh when we went over Egypt in my World History class. The kids got a kick of it.

We recently started Rome. Guess what that means! Julius Caesar made an appearance in room 114 the other day. (And yes, the students, and some of the teachers, chanted “Toga! Toga! Toga!” as I walked past.) I spent the first 5 or so minutes greeting them in Latin, and continuing in Latin an explanation of who I was and what I was doing. Surprisingly, although they had never taken a Latin course in their lives, most of the students could tell what I was talking about. I guess my old communication professors were correct. Communication is predominantly non-verbal. Regardless, the kids had a good time. I even dressed up a few of them in the Toga and explained its significance. They were disappointed, however, that my legs weren’t showing this time.

Don’t mind the stupid expression on my face. I have no idea what I was thinking. Maybe I was worried a Brutus-esque student was hanging around or something…

Conversation which occurred today in one of my classes.

Student - “Mr. Brent, who are the genitals?”
Me - “What?!”
Student - “Who are the genitals? Are they the ones who aren’t jewish?”
Me - “OH! You mean the gentiles! Yeah, that’s everyone who isn’t jewish.”

This one has been added to the record. Some others are available in this post.

Lately Tara and I have really been questioning our desire to continue in the teaching profession. She’s having a horrible time, and mine isn’t that much better. I love the concept of teaching, but the American system of education flat out sucks. Clearly others agree, as it’s a well known stat that 50% of new teachers leave the profession within 5 years. The way things are going, we may contribute to that statistic.

They have many programs aimed at “Career Switchers” to get them into teaching. I think they may need to start having “Teacher Switchers” programs to get them out. Let’s face it. The pay sucks. Discipline sucks. The hours suck. (And shut up with that “you get summers off crap.”) We work hard, and it all means shit if the kids don’t do a damn thing.

Tonight we were watching National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. As you know, Clark wants to buy a pool for his family. He makes a comment that he’s waiting for his Christmas bonus to cover the cost of the $7,500 check he wrote for it. Now, given that this movie was released in 1989, that same $7,500 would be about $12,000 today. I would love to think that I could get that much in a bonus. Hell, that’s more than one third of my current salary!!!!

Currently I’m looking into real estate sales. I’m not 100% sure yet, but I am definitately looking at options. I would love to have the opportunity to work in a more professional environment, and base my success upon my own work, rather than the work of students. Well, my contract lasts until June. I have plenty of time to consider my options.

So just over two weeks ago I got married, hitched, surrendered, taken, legally wed. You pick the term. I’ve spent a good amount of time reflecting on the event, and wanted to share a few things I’ve learned.

1) People don’t understand what R.S.V.P. means.
For those who don’t know, it comes from a French phrase which means “Please Respond.” That means when WE taken the time to mail you an invitation to the wedding with a SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED RESPONSE CARD, YOU should send it back, regardless of whether you are coming or not.

2) People will say they’re coming, and then won’t show up.
First, see above. There WILL be people who will say they’re coming, and give you their meal choices. Then they won’t show up. Then, to top things off, they won’t tell you why they chose not to come.

3) Invitations say who is invited.
When you recieve an invitation, look at who it is addressed to. If it is to “John Doe”, that means only “John Doe” is invited. If it says “John and Jane Doe” then it means both are invited. Did it say “The Doe Family”? If it does, and ONLY if it does, are your children invited. And this means immediate family, not every third cousin through incest that you can think of.

4) Don’t bring a date.
See above. If your invitation is not written “and guest” that means your guest is not invited. Plain and simple. You can ask, sure, but DO NOT ASSUME. If you bring your guest, it will royally screw up reception seating.

5) Your invitation is to the Wedding AND Reception. Not just the reception.
It’s rude to just show up for the food. Get your lazy ass out of bed, get dressed, and get to the ceremony. However, there are exceptions to this. Just make sure the bridal party knows about them.

6) Give the bride and groom time to talk and eat.
They are humans too, and to survive they need to eat. Yes, you probably do want a picture of them. Guess what? So do the rest of the guests. Give them time to eat first. You don’t want a grumpy, hungry married couple.

7) No matter how hard you try to get thing perfect, stuff will mess up.
People will arrive late. Someone may trip. The kids in the bridal party may not be happy. Don’t be surprised. It happens. If the ring bearer doesn’t walk up the aisle because he’s scared, it’s kind of cute. If the best man or a groomsman doesn’t walk up the aisle, then you’ve got a problem.

There are tons more than this that I’ve learned, but this is a start. I’m going to post a honeymoon post soon.