Matt’s Random Thoughts

This is a note to my fellow man. I beseech your help! I am losing the battle for the bathroom. My wife and I have one tiny bathroom in our house, with a small sink. We purchased a little bathroom rack that goes over the toilet. We use this to store our stuff because we have no closet in the bathroom. Unfortunately, however, the rack has been overtaken.

As you can see, out of the mass of things on the shelves, a mere five objects belong to me. On the top right, I have my bottle of face wash. On the middle shelf, on the right, I have my deodorant. The bottom shelf contains three of my items: tooth paste and q-tips (which we technically share), and my razor. I have five items. Five.

Now count up her items. It’s unfair. Do I need to rally my troops and burn my boxers? What happened to male bathroom dominance? Did the Spice Girls take it away a decade ago with their whole “girl power” movement? I don’t know, but I want some space back. Or better yet, a bigger house with dual sinks!

While everyone else was off getting married today, Tara and I ended up going to Wal-Mart. (Honestly, if someone has to get married on 7-7-07 because they’re depending on luck, I’m willing to bet that marriage won’t last very long.) As for Wal-Mart, we had to venture down to Williamsburg because the photo lab in the Gloucester Wal-Mart is broken. (Surprise, surprise…) Tara had this idea to put together a little photo album for my grandmother’s 95th birthday gathering tomorrow. She had picked out a bunch of pictures, and then submitted them online. CVS, Rite Aid, and the local Wal-Mart couldn’t do them 1 hour, so that’s why we went all the way down to Williamsburg.

Part of the reason I suggested Williamsburg was that their store still had fabric. Gloucester got rid of their fabric section several months ago, and I wanted to buy a bunch of fabric for some costumes for my classes. I spent several minutes picking out fabric, and after I had chosen the three types I wanted, I got in line behind this other woman. There was no one behind the booth, and she looked at me and said that she would’ve rang a bell, but there wasn’t one. I walked over to the photo lab, which was next to fabric, to have them page someone, but no one was there either. I walked back and the woman decided she would go find someone. There was an announcement over the PA. We waited. No one came. Then the woman went running after a stock-boy. (I don’t think he would’ve cut fabric, but she ran anyway.) She told me someone was coming. Ten minutes passed and no one came. The woman went away again. Time passed. FINALLY a pregnant woman carrying a bag of Chick-Fil-A shows up. She had no Wally World Vest on, but grabbed the scissors and started cutting. When it was our time she and Tara struck up a conversation about pregnancy and cravings. Fun.

After we left Wal-Mart, we strolled through the dark parking lot. We load up the Civic and look at the spot diagonal from us. A young couple was sitting in the front seat of a station wagon heavily making out. This was one of those situations like an accident. You don’t want to look, but you just have to look… So we sat there watching them for a bit laughing at the idiots. A few moments passed and the guy who owned the car in front of us arrived with bags in hand. He tossed his bags into his car, and then suddenly he caught sight of the couple. He was staring too. Then he saw us laughing and started laughing as well. Eventually we tired of these shenanigans and decided to leave and head next door to Sonic for shakes.

Tara went out to the wrong side of the parking lot, so we had to turn around. Hmmm… since we’re going back that way, we might as well check out that couple again. Yep, still going at it. Now the guy had pushed his way over to the girl’s seat. They were going at it like two snakes swirling around each other. I suggested that I should go into walmart, buy a three-pack of condoms, knock on their car window and hand them over. That would’ve been funny. The couple probably would have been pissed, but it would have been funny.

After writing this, I realize it doesn’t seem funny. However, seeing this couple making our in the Wal-Mart parking lot was freakin’ hilarious. We officially deemed the Williamsburg Wally World as ghetto as the Newport News Wal-Mart. Well, at least on our trips to the Williamsburg one, we’ve yet to have sketchy kids trying to sell us mugs out of a rubbermaid storage container to raise money for drug awareness. (Yeah, it’s true, and the kid told us he accepted checks.) I hope the Kilmarnock Wal-Mart isn’t that ghetto!

Today Tara and I went out to Walmart, with a side trip to lunch. I suggested Quiznos, but Tara, in her pregnant glory, suggested french fries. Okay, so we went to Hardee’s. As we stand before the counter, staring at the menu, Tara decides she wants a roast beef. Well, apparently at some point Hardee’s stopped carrying roast beef, so we left and headed a few spots down to Arby’s. (Consequently, Arby’s apparently doesn’t have french fries anymore, only curly fries and these “potato cakes” that are pretty much glorified hash browns.) We ordered and then proceeded to eat.

While we were sitting there, we caught a story on tv. Apparently there was a woman who feels she has been discriminated against by McDonald’s. Bottom line is that she has a condition in which she has tiny arms, so she uses her feet to do things instead. When she drove up to the McDonald’s drive through and stuck her foot out of the window to get her food, the employee refused. (Mind you, they had no problem taking her money in the 1st window!) That sucks, although, knowing McDonald’s, I’m sure they would’ve screwed up her order anyway. You can read more about this here.

Hearing this reminded me of one of my own prior ordeals with the fast food giant. Check out my post entitled “No Phantom, No Shakes”.